My mother recently passed away. I was inspired to write her eulogy. I delivered it along with my brother and sisters. I was asked by many people for a copy of this message so I decided to share it online. I believe these are words of comfort to anyone who has ever lost someone.
We are gathered here today in memory of our mother, Elizabeth Mwakasisi. And today, we would like to do two things. First, we would like to tell you about Elizabeth: how she was a great woman, mother, sister, daughter and friend. And second, we would like to tell you why we are not mourning, but celebrating today.
Elizabeth Jalisi Mahenge was born on January 29th, 1960 in Iringa, Tanzania to parents Samuel Mahenge and Fatuma Sanga.
In 1983, she was attending the Rwegarulila Water Institute. Frank Mwakasisi, a student at the University of Dar es Salaam at the time, went to visit his younger brother Emmanuel who was also a student at Rwegarulila. It was then that Frank saw a vision of beauty he just couldn’t get out of his mind. He asked, who was this beauty? Of course, it was Elizabeth.
The rest, they say, is history. Two years later they married on the 23rd of February.
In May 1986, she gave birth to their first son Chris. Around that time she started working as a chemist at Central Water Laboratory. Two years later their first daughter Eneke was born in June 1988. The following year she left to study in the Netherlands.
In August 1990, Frank came to the United States to pursue graduate degrees in engineering at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana. The rest of the family joined him in March 1991. Three years later in October 1994 their second daughter Tumpale was born. They moved to Michigan in 1995 when Frank received a teaching job at Western Michigan University. Six years later in February 2001, their second son Samuel was born.
Now complete, the Mwakasisi family continued to thrive under her care.
When I think of my mother, four words come to mind. She was a strong woman, a loving woman, a selfless woman, and above all else, a faithful woman.
Elizabeth Mwakasisi was a strong woman. She was the backbone of the Mwakasisi family, our greatest source of strength and the force that brought us together. Any parent can tell you that it is not easy to raise a single child let alone four. Whether it was being there to help her kids or supporting her husband, she did it all with a grace that only true strength can bring.
I thought I knew what it meant to be strong. But I have never seen more strength in a person than when I saw first saw my mother sitting in her hospital bed during her final days, almost seemingly unaffected by her situation. Instead of people coming to care for her, she was caring for them. Even while receiving treatment and having to endure great pain daily, she never showed it. When the doctors gave her little time to live, she proved them wrong by lasting 10 times longer than they expected. Now that is strength.
Elizabeth Mwakasisi was a loving woman. She had a bright smile and a love for life and the Lord that could not be denied. She brightened up every room she walked in like a ray of sunshine. Love just poured out of her. It could be her family, her friends, or even complete strangers. She treated and cared for all people like they were her own children. Everyone that she interacted with could see it, feel it, and was changed by it. What a truly loving woman.
Elizabeth Mwakasisi was a selfless woman. Whenever people wanted to pray for her, she would say “No. Don’t just pray for me. Pray for me and everyone else here who has loved ones that need prayer.” When she was rediagnosed with cancer, she started a prayer line to pray for those across the world with terminal sicknesses. Even when 126 people called in with prayer requests, she made sure everyone had a turn before her. It was through this group that many people’s lives were changed. People in hopeless conditions with diseases such as leukemia, lung cancer, and in comas were healed miraculously. She turned her own illness into something that did so much good for so many people. That was the power of her selflessness.
Elizabeth Mwakasisi was a faithful woman. Throughout her battle with cancer, you would always hear her thanking and praising God for what he has done for her, never once seeming sad. Not even once. Even on her deathbed, her last words were, “Even if I die, praise God.” Truly, her faith was a model for others to follow.
That was our mother, Elizabeth Mwakasisi: a strong woman, a loving woman, a selfless woman and a faithful woman.
I’m reminded of a scripture that was read to us right after our mother passed away. It comes from the book of 1 Peter chapter 1 verses 6-9. It reads:
“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials… Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”I’ll read it once more.
“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials… Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”You see, in death, we receive the goal of our faiths, the salvation of our souls.
In this way, death can be seen as something to celebrate for it isn’t simply just the end of one thing, but the start of something greater. It is not the end of life, but the graduation from life. And much like a college graduation, it is bittersweet. You know you won’t be seeing your friend like you are used to and you will miss them, but you understand that they are moving on to something much greater, something we must all do at one point.
We know our mother may not be here physically, but she is not gone. She is in heaven smiling down on us, watching over us, and more importantly pain-free. That is something to celebrate.
Only one kind of death is sad. That is when someone passes away before they are ready to go. That is what I’d call a tragedy. But my mother’s death was not a tragedy. In her 50 years, she lived a life much fuller than most do in 100 years. The people she touched and whose lives have changed because of her are simply too many to count.
I think of it like this. Jesus passed away before the age of 40. How many more miracles and wonders could Jesus have done if he stayed on Earth longer? But that was not his purpose. He was supposed to only start and inspire something that would be remembered for all time. Likewise how many more people could Elizabeth have touched if she stayed on Earth longer? But I believe she had already done the work and started the things she was supposed to.
The fact that she left us at such a young age of 50 was a testament to how much she had accomplished in her life.I’ll say that again.
The fact that she left us at such a young age of 50 was a testament to how much she had accomplished in her life.But moreover, the thing that keeps me at peace is knowing that she was ready to go. Even though we may not have been ready to let her go, I know she was ready to go. You see, this was not her first time dealing with cancer. In 2005, she had her first encounter with cancer. I believe, through God’s grace, she was able to beat that cancer to be declared cancer free the next year in 2006.
It was this initial bout with cancer that is responsible for changing Elizabeth. It ignited a fire in her to help others like never before. It is what inspired her to study nursing to help others the same way she was cared for as a cancer patient. And through this experience, she gained the strength and courage to face it again should that day come, a strength and courage she could not have received any other way.
Had she passed away back in 2005, I believe it would have been a tragedy because she was not ready to go. But having already faced and experienced the reality of cancer, I know she was at peace this time. And after seeing all that she has done these past years, I also understand that her work on Earth was done.
It is now up to us to carry her legacy forward. There will never be another Elizabeth, but we can strive to become more like her in every way. To be stronger, more loving, more selfless, and more faithful.
So please help me and the rest of my family on this day not to mourn my mother’s death, but rather, to celebrate her graduation from life.
